Solitude
by Baby Rose
Summary: Quistis reflects on the day of Squall and Rinoa's wedding, and a surprise ending is in store...


**_Solitude_**

I sat by the window, staring out across Balamb's expansive territory, the mid-day sun beating down on it. I had been sitting there the entire day…the day I had loathed since he had met her. I knew it was coming from the minute I saw them dancing on that ballroom floor together. I just pretended it wouldn't happen, and kept on loving him like he was still single and free.

_How many times have you told me…you love her?  
__As many times as I've wanted to tell you the truth  
__How long have I stood here…beside you?  
__I lived through you, you looked through me_

Knees tucked up to my chin, I studied my bridesmaid dress. A deep burgundy sleeveless dress with burgundy gloves to match that reached up to my elbow. I held my hand out in front of me and examined it carefully. I couldn't understand why Rinoa had picked me as a bridesmaid. She obviously knew I had feelings for Squall, yet she made me part of the wedding anyway. I suppose she thought it would arise suspicion if she didn't invite one of the people she stood beside during Time Compression.

It's not like I openly made moves on Squall in front of her. But it was the little things that made it apparent. Offering to stay late to help him with Garden work, complimenting him on a job well done, making sure to include him in all our nightly plans. Squall was blind to the hints, but Rinoa knew from the start. She's a woman. I couldn't expect her not to know.

_Oo, solitude_  
_Still with me is only you  
__Oo, solitude  
__I can't stay away from you_

Every time I turned around after we defeated Ultimecia, it was Rinoa this, Rinoa that. "Rinoa's the best thing that ever happened to me," "Rinoa's such a great person," "Why aren't you better friends with Rinoa?" "I love her so much, Quisty." I finally saw his point from before he met her: silence _is _golden sometimes. I almost wished he'd go back to his old predictable self.

Not that I didn't like the new, changed Squall. In fact, it made him even more attractive. The friendly, outgoing Squall was even sexier than before. And attached to someone else like fly paper.

_How many times have I done this…to myself?_  
_How long will it take before I see?  
__When will this hole in my heart  
__Be mended?  
__Who now is left alone…but me?_

Selphie had Irvine, Rinoa had Squall, Zell had Lexi, the Library Girl. Who did I have? Myself. The silence around me. People told me there was someone out there for me, that what I felt for Squall was being mixed up with a sisterly love. And I tried. Hell, I even dated Seifer for a brief time to try it out and see what happened. All that came from it was a one-night stand and a note on the bedside table the next morning. It meant nothing to him, it meant nothing to me.

What I felt for Squall was never sisterly.

_Oo, solitude_  
_Forever me, and forever you  
__Oo, solitude  
__Only you, only true_

Don't get me wrong, close to the time when Squall got engaged to Rinoa, I tried to make a move to bring his attention to me. I left a note on the door of his office inviting him to find out who could really love him at dinner in the Quad. I signed it Anonymous, and you would think he'd at least be curious to find out who it was, but he never showed. I sat alone in my best dress for three hours while two meals went stone cold on the table. I've never felt so rejected in my life.

Later, I found out he'd been with Rinoa instead.

_Everyone leaves me stranded_  
_Forgotten, abandoned, left behind  
__I can't stay here another night_

A single tear rolled down my cheek. After all these years of thinking I could charm the mighty lion with my allure, wasted. This was the day I had imagined would be mine. Mine and Squall's, not hers and Squall's. What had I done? Was I not pretty enough? Smart enough? Did I have no sense of humor to make him laugh? Was I not adventurous enough? What was wrong with me?

These thoughts suddenly made me let out a dry chuckle in the midst of my tears. Me, me, me, I, I, I. Why was I being so self-centered? Poor me, I think I'll throw myself a pity party. This wasn't my day; it was Rinoa and Squall's. And I was acting like a baby about. Rinoa was counting on me to be there with Selphie, and sitting here feeling sorry for myself wouldn't make Squall love me. I had to face the fact that he never would love me in that way.

And I guess that was okay.

_Your secret admirer_  
_Who could it be?  
__Oo, can you see?  
__All along it was me  
__How can you be so blind  
__As to see right through me?_

Standing up next to Selphie, our matching dresses blending together, I watched Rinoa and Squall take their vows. They both looked so happy, and I wanted it for them. I truly did. They were getting married…it was meant to be her with him. It was.

_Oo, solitude_  
_Still with me is only you  
__Oo, solitude  
__I can't stay away from you_

"Squall Leonhart, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, as long as you both shall live?"

"I do."

His words were like fire in my heart. Two simple words set it aflame. They were two simple words that meant the end to everything I wished for.

"And you, Rinoa Heartilly, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, as long as you both shall live?"

"I do."

My thoughts screamed for me to hold my tongue.The last thing I wanted was to ruin this for Squall. _They were meant to be…they were meant to be…_

"If anyone at this gathering has any objection to this wedding, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

_Oo, solitude  
Forever me, and forever you  
Oo, solitude  
Only you, only true_

Without thinking, the words blurted out of my mouth before I could stop them. "I do! I have an objection."

_**Author's Note: Mwa ha ha! I love doing those kinds of endings, it's great. I hope I portrayed Quistis the right way…ya'll let me know! By the way, this is a one-shot, not a multi-chaptered story. Sorry, it just has no where to go. Please review! **_


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